Jack of all trades, master of none

I’ve heard that phrase said before. “Jack of all trades, master of none.” It makes me sad. It’s something that is said about someone who’ll try just about anything, but never sticks with just one thing. Being no stranger to online dating profiles, I’ve seen several guys proudly say that they’re a “jack of all trades”. But I have to sit there and wonder, do they know the rest of that phrase? Do they know that it’s not something that they should really be proud of? And that’s the point where I notice that the highest level of education they have received is high school, and I immediately click the back button. 

When thinking of that phrase, I’ve associated it with people who think they know everything, or think they know how to do everything. But when they’re really put to the test to do something, they flake, or just can’t do it. In thinking more and more about it, I’ve started to worry and wonder, is that me? As I think about all the things I’ve done, all the things I’ve been interested in, and then given up or lost interest, all the things I can do, all the things I can’t do, I fear that I might actually be categorized as a jack of all trades, and a master of none. This scares the shit out of me. The fact that I double majored in Music and Theatre in college sounds really impressive. But why couldn’t I have just done one and been really awesome at it? No, I had to do both and half-ass both of them. As my theatre professors always seemed to subtly make clear, I’m not a good actor, I’m not a good director, but I am good at making playlists, like every other person of my generation. My piano professor made sure that I knew I couldn’t play piano, and my music history professor let me know that I couldn’t write (I’m too conversational, remember?). So although college is the time where you’re supposed to narrow down what you want to do for a living, I graduated feeling LESS sure of what I wanted to be when I grew up. 

In the almost 3 years since I graduated college, my brain has been overflowing with different ideas of things I want to do, of the person I want to be. Band director, rock star, children’s minister, writer, screenwriter, piano teacher, substitute teacher, drama teacher, chorus teacher, percussion instructor, stage manager, theatre director, bartender, professional djembe player, songwriter, filmmaker, cat lady, Lena Dunham. But does having an interest in all of these things make me a master of none of them? Is it OK that I want to be a piano teacher, be in an awesome band, go on a road trip, write, direct, and star in my own movie, and be an all around awesome person? Can I do all of that? Like right now? I’ve been given some parental advice that went something like, “you can do all of those things, just one at a time.” What? No. I want to do ALLLLLL of the things! RIGHT NAO. I don’t want to be like 40 years old and going on a road trip. I need to do that now while I’m not tied down to anything. I gotta finish my screenplay, direct the film, and star in it now because it’s about a 24 year old chick. People always think that I’m way younger than I actually am (like, still in high school young, and I’m like, uh no, I have a college degree). That’s not going to last forever, though. So if I’m actually going to live out my dream of being the next Lena Dunham, I’ve got to do it now. But at the same time, I feel like I’m never going to be able to finish the screen play. I’m afraid that it’s just going to be another thing that I just “dabbled in” for a little while. Jack of all trades, master of abso-freakin-lutely none.

I started writing this blog post two weeks ago. And I’m just now picking it back up. I didn’t know what else to say about my mediocre life, or where exactly I was going with that subject. It’s not like I had any kind of realization or was about to come to some brilliant conclusion about what I’ve been doing wrong in my life. I was really just writing about how much I suck. How depressing. I suppose I still don’t have anything enlightening to end this post with. I could end it with some sort of exciting things that are happening in my life. 

1. This first one is kind of a two-parter: 



Ain't she purty?

1. Last weekend, I went to Warner Robins to see my cousin participate in her high school’s scholarship pageant. And she killed it! She won the evening gown/speech portion and second runner-up, which came with a small scholarship. I heard tale that the chick who won didn’t want to win or didn’t want to be in the pageant anymore, or something like that. Either way, doesn’t it suck for everyone else that the winner is so ungrateful and just has a crappy attitude about the whole thing? (The answer is yes, it does suck.) However, Bri did awesome and definitely deserved what she won, if not more. 
2.  While in WR, my cousin and I were talking about how we both want to travel the country this summer, so I may have found a road trip buddy! But I don’t know how her parents would feel about just the two of us roaming the country together. Sounds potentially dangerous. Yus.  
2. I WILL BE 25 ON FEBRUARY 25^TH. Feel free to send donations in the form of either cash, iTunes cards, or awesome vinyl records. (If you seriously want to do this, email me and I shall send you the important information to do so.)

So I think that’s about it for now. I wish that I had come up with some super awesome solution to my “jack of all trades, master of none” problem. I suppose I’ll just have to keep living day to day and strive to be a better person than I was the day before. Here goes.